Asian/Personal Tumblr
Food, Fotography Tumblr
Instagram


Challenges & Reviews:

Movie Reviews
Drama Reviews
30 Day Drama Challenge
7 Deadly Sins Challenge

Short Fanfics & Celebs:

Short Fanfictions
JJ Lin
Magic Power
Raymond Lam
Kevin Cheng
Linda Chung
TVB Related

Personal:

Reflection/Deep posts
Birthdays
Dreams
School Related

Coding/Design: Yours-Tragically
Icons: Enlaced

November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
April 2011
May 2011
June 2011
July 2011
August 2011
September 2011
October 2011
November 2011
December 2011
January 2012
February 2012
March 2012
April 2012
May 2012
June 2012
July 2012
August 2012
September 2012
October 2012
November 2012
December 2012
January 2013
February 2013
March 2013
April 2013
May 2013
June 2013
July 2013
August 2013
September 2013
October 2013
November 2013
December 2013
January 2014
February 2014
March 2014
April 2014
May 2014
June 2014
August 2014
September 2014
October 2014
December 2014
February 2015
March 2015
April 2015
June 2015
July 2015
August 2015
September 2015
October 2015
December 2015
January 2016
February 2016
March 2016
June 2016
July 2016
November 2016
December 2016
June 2017
July 2017
September 2017

Flight is tonight...no, more like tomorrow. But leaving for airport in about...4 hours ish.
I feel like everytime I go on a trip, I come back changed. I guess that's suppose to happen though. But that also means when I come back I'll no longer be who I was. I'll be more.
Emotional. Nostalgic.

Anyways, one of the biggest things I have to fear is finally coming to reality about cousins's passing away more than a year ago. In the U.S., you can kinda pretend that everything is the same back there. But when you go back...and you don't see him at all, anywhere. It's like reality staring at you in the face. No place to hide. Time to face reality...

Another thing I have to face is the awkwardness that comes for the first few days. When you first see everyone...awk af because you haven't talked to them in forever. It takes me like around 3 days to feel more comfortable. Ugh but that first contact is the most awkward. Like, when you first see uncle at the airport. And when you first see dad's side's relatives in the house. And when you first see mom's side's relatives. My hands are honestly sweaty just from thinking about this. sighh..
Andddd I'm going back alone (parents staying here), which means I have to face all this awkwardness ALONE! BY MYSELF! I did the same thing 2 years ago, but ugh it's still scary. >.<

another thing, uncle said either he or his son (my cousin) will pick me up at the airport. That's more awk than uncle picking me up! Like adults is less awkward than someone semi-close to your age, you know what I mean. Cuz adults they know what to say, and then someone close to your age..is like..you. sighh...

One more thing I"m worried about is that time will pass too fast and before I know it I will be counting down my last days in Taiwan. And then on the last day, I'll have to try very hard to hold back tears. I swear, it gets more and more difficult every year...every two years. Maybe because as I grow older I cherish the people around me more, and I've become more emotional as I matured. I hope I'll be able to hold back those tears.

Ohhh another thing I'm scared of is getting sick on the plane. I bought pills today for the plane but ughh pleaseeeeee.
Another thing that I will mention on this post is that bro will prob be gone when I return from Taiwan. Sigh...this was a short summer with bro. Only a month ish. And we haven't had much quality time cuz hes been busy with internships on the weekdays. Another sigh.

I have so many fears just because of this trip. Kinda why I low-key don't wanna go back. Everytime I go back I have to face all of this. And then before I know it, the trip will end and I will have post vacation depression. Sighh

Oh and then when I return Ya Lun will also most likely be in AZ already cuz college starts around end of August for him. So bye for real ya lun. When's the next time I will be within a 5-10 mile radius from him?

I guess that's all I have to say for now. I hope myself a safe trip. On the plane and in Taiwan. I hope everything will be ok. I hope I won't get sick or anything. Please. Let this be a safe trip.

Anddd Happy fourth of July 'Murica!





[185th day of 2016: 4/10]

Labels: reflection, travel