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Got back on Tuesday. And of course, the post vacation depression is inevitable. I miss Taiwan, I miss my family, I miss the food, I miss the humid air, I miss the hot weather, I miss the busy streets, the loud streets, I miss the streets filled with motorcycles and cars. I miss everything. I miss being in the same country as some of my favorite celebrities. I miss being able to turn on the TV anytime, and being able to find a good TV show or a good movie. I miss being able to walk out and do stuff, buy stuff, actually come into contact with people the second I step out of the house.

At night, Bellevue is dead silent. And dark. Opposite of Taiwan. Sighh...

野柳

When I got on the car, ready to leave, all my family members were just standing there, waving goodbye..it was like a movie scene. and it was so hard to keep the tears in.

when I finally reached Seattle, mom called back to let my relatives know that I've arrived. And then I talked to my cousin, and I seriously teared up. I'm tearing up as I write this right now. She said the her son (my nephew) cried for so long after I left, begging my cousin to bring me back. I've seen my nephew cry for similar reasons while I was in Taiwan, and I know what it's like. The image was too clear in my mind.

I didn't want my cousin to know that I was tearing up, so I tried to talk as little as possible. i dont know how obvious I was. Good thing we weren't on the phone for too long. After that, I went upstairs, in my room (everyone else was downstairs) so no one would see me cry.
It's just so hard...

七股

But I gotta admit, this is the least I've cried out of all the previous years.

The other day, I was listening to music. Cuz it's so dead silent here even in the daytime, and I really need to distract myself from reality. And I teared up again. First song doesn't even have anything to do with family or missing home. Instead, it was about  a boyfriend girlfriend relationship. Yet, I teared up about that too..

The song's called 男朋友(Boyfriend), sang by Louis Koo (古天樂). I'm not sure if it was his voice, or if it was the lyrics written by 林夕 or the melody composed by 伍樂城 that made me tear up. Maybe it was a combination of all 3.

淡水

This part of the song:

"回答我可不可以暫時讓我牽牽手
我妄想的不會有
牽一牽你手　我便甜蜜夠"
The other song is called 等我回來(Wait for me to return), sang by Aaron Kwok(郭富城). Melody of this song is kinda light hearted, not really sad or anything, so it's probably the lyrics that made me tear up.
Here's a part of the song:

"不能和你Say Goodbye
我怕走不開　珍重是最難下嚥的對白
這幾天　我已體驗　你在身邊　是多好的感覺

不能跟你Say Goodbye 淚會流下來
藏不住的愛　我想你明白
捨不得　oh my love你在等待　我也等待　等我回來"

Actually, basically the whole song fits me, but I only attached the chorus.

小人國

Idk whats the point of writing this whole post...Maybe cuz I wanna tell someone about my feelings, but don't know who to tell? Or how to tell? Actually, I've already had a short convo about this with M.T. and L.Z.

But, I just need to let it out more I guess.

I wanna talk about my Taiwan trip, but that'll take too long. I guess those experiences will just remain in my memories.

Song Playlist is updated. First 6 songs are ones I found out about in Taiwan. First song, 為你寫詩 is sang by Kenji Wu (吳克羣). Soo hotttt ohmyy..


Sighhh, when am I gonna get out of this depression...




[228th day of 2014: 3/10]

Labels: kenji wu, reflection, taiwan, vacation, worries