Wednesday, January 30, 2013
9:10 PM
Troubles
History-evolution, nothin much. ohh and NTV. i actually miss indep. living just because of how chill that class was.
PE-intro to weight equipments. then the mile. beat my previous time without stopping anytime during running, but its still bad compared to the rest of the ppl in my class since everyone's athletic in that class, not even kidding. urghh. next goal is within 8:50.
English-100% on vocab quiz. finished hotel rwanda. good film.
today's PE was muchhh better. stomach didnt hurt, no dizziness or blurred vision and im actually pretty proud of myself..
so scared for leadership tomorrow. classes where u get called on randomly =.= ahhhh.
hope everything goes great.
this morning on facebook i saw my cousin's superrrrr long, more than 1,800 chinese character words post. i spent around 6-10min. reading it. in the post she talks about how her parents dont understand her and how they are giving her too much pressure, and how they say shes not doing good enuff in school. (shes freaking smart, get goodddd grades, and she goes to the best highschool in taiwan. what more do they expect from her goshh).
her parents (my aunt and uncle) also assumes a lot of stuff. like how once they thought she had a bf just because she was brushing her hair 2 min. longer than usual and bf was the cause that brought her grades down. aunt and uncle dont have proof but thats what they assume.
my cousin mentioned
wanting to be invisible, wanting to go to a place with peace, especially when she hears my aunt scolding my little baby brother and the awful crys of my baby brother. (3 years old actually). later in the post she questions her presence in this world and talks about thoughts of
suicide. however she did say that shes not willing to give up yet.
im really scared for her actually. i just never thought my cousin felt like this and even have thoughts of suicide. i never thought that someone so close to me would have thoughts like this--never thought it'd come across her mind..someone so close to me.
i told my mom and made her read the status, then my bro said that she needed to go see a psychologist if she really has suicidal thoughts, and then my bro and I told my mom to talk with my aunt and uncle about this.
i hope i can help her in some way, even though im so far away. (hey that rhymed!) I don't want her troubles to get any worse.
having this blog is actually how i keep down my stress. i get pressured too, i have stress of my own too. it really helps to write everything down though, its like getting it all out even when there's no one to talk to.
i think and feel that my cousin just wants people to hear her voice for once, and ppl did hear her. she got well over 62 comments and 42 likes. im glad her friends are supportive.
to any reader that may come across this post: dont kill urself. theres always a solution. if u die, it means u give up, it truly means that u are too weak. but us humans are not weak. we survived so many events and incidents. think about caveman people or something. they spent everyday looking for food, and often go long periods of time without eating. and whats ur trouble? relationship failures? think ur too fat? think ur grades arent good enuff? these arent even problems. ppl back then--suicide didn't even exist. if they suicided, u wouldn't even be here today. think for ur future.
prove everyone wrong by living a successful life. That's the best revenge. Labels: reflection